The Song of Achilles

In a way, reading this felt like Romeo and Juliet. I imagined “I can’t bear to live without you” throughout the entirety of the book. Themes of Love, Identity, Selfishness, Ego, and Fate shaped this novel. My favorite part was the torment beyond the grave and the surprise character that set them free, finally.

I struggled toward the end of the book. Patroclus underwent massive character development, but that never soured how he felt about Achilles. I only made him love him more. I believe that Patroclus chose this path because he wanted to save Achilles, the way Achilles saved him.

There is also a part of me that initially believed that Achilles was just taking advantage of Patroclus. Knowing that he’d choose him no matter what. And Patroclus knew this. As the narrator, he stated several times over that way he didn’t care and how he’d do anything Achilles wanted a thousand times over. He knew that his identity was erased when he was banished from his own kingdom, and he didn’t mind existing as an extension of the person that he loved.

This makes Patroclus stronger. His consistently conscious decision to do whatever it takes to stay by Achilles side and find him wherever he goes. His willingness to fight and stand up for him, even though he’d never have the courage to do it for himself. Achilles’s life was laid out for him since birth. A boy with the most righteous destiny. No matter where life took him, he’d always end up exactly where he was meant to be. Seeing Achilles’s life unfold from Patroclus’s eyes made me feel pity for him. How he fought for control of his life at every turn and still ended up doing the exact opposite of what he wanted in the name of a prophecy.

There was so much to unpack in this novel. The thoughts that really held me down were the tragedy. I wonder how it could have been avoided. I wonder what was going through Achilles’s head that really kept him from fighting. Was this what the prophecy foresaw? Achilles’s ego and stubbornness being the death of both him and his lover? What else would it have taken to convince him to fight again? The death of the King who commanded the army? Was this really about respect and pride? When everyone’s lives were at stake. I believe this was the moment Achilles decided he was done being a pawn in the universe’s game. Though he didn’t consider what he would lose when making the decision.

I think Madeline Miller chose Patroclus to narrate to show us the perspective of expectation from the outside. Patroclus knew that Achilles needed him as much as he did. Achilles needed the courage to be who he was meant to be. He needed the validation that was, in fact, the person everyone thought he was. Patroclus saw him at his most vulnerable and still saw the God in him. The way his hair fell, the way he turned into a man right before his eyes. Through Patroclus, I also saw who he was outside of Achilles. His own person with thoughts and feelings. The way his self-identity was created in Achilles' shadow, and even though it was created that way, he was still a person on his own. A medic at war, a friend to Briseis. A person who realized and contemplated the sacrifices he had made to stay at Achilles’s side, no matter what. How easy it would be to start a family with someone more available. How easy it would be to be buried and remembered.

Patroclus was the only one who could truly understand what Achilles may have been going through. After all, he started as a prince as well. He knew what it was like to live up to an expectation. He even knew what it was like to not live up to those expectations and lose everything because of it. His father never thought much of him, and because of this, Patroclus was easily able to put himself into Achilles' shoes. I imagine Achilles felt the same way most of the time; it just looked different on the outside.

I didn’t find that this book related to me at all. I didn’t feel like Achilles or Patroclus. If anything, I felt more like Thetis. His relentlessness to protect her son from a truly awful fate. As a God, even she was powerless against this. I wonder if she knew he’d die from heartbreak (in a sense). Maybe that is why she felt as she did for Patroclus. Patroclus wasn’t a distraction; he was an extension of Achilles himself. She knew he couldn’t bear to live any longer without him. But he was mortal, and mortals die. I am not a mother, but I understood her maternal instinct to protect him the best she could, even if that meant blatant disdain for Patroclus. That is why she set him free.

Share some thoughts with me. How can this relate to psychology?

- Performance-based self-worth

-              Social connection

-              Complicated grief

-              Emotional regulation

-              Personal identity

-              Codependency

What did you think? Answer here.